How To Think Like a Slytherin

It’s no secret to my friends that I am a Slytherin. It is truly one of the best ways to describe me- the term encompasses a lot of my personality traits. Even more so than my Gemini zodiac sign. In fact, many believe that to understand a Gemini fully, you have to learn and understand all of their traits. And my traits are purely Slytherin. SO! Here’s why that’s a good thing, here’s how I have utilized these skills, and, once you see how great being a Slytherin is, I’ll show you how you, too, can think like a Slytherin!

Traits of a Slytherin include:

  • Cunning
  • Resourcefulness
  • Ambition
  • Self-Preservation
  • Cleverness
  • Power
  • Determination
  • Fraternity

Let’s go through and talk about these one-by-one.

Cunning: I tend to get payback without the people on the receiving end knowing that I was the one who dished it. Cunning means being secretive, discreet, sneaky, and a bit conniving. Obviously, like any skill-set, it can be used wrongfully. And I’m not going to say that I’ve never used it wrongfully before. Because I definitely use it to get what I want and to dish out payback sometimes. Being cunning means finding the best way to address a situation without taking the fall or getting too involved. Or maybe getting involved, but not letting people see your involvement. Yes, I have an example of how I’ve done this. No, I will not tell you, because then I would be at risk of being found out. And honestly, I would love to tell you how to achieve this one, but that kind of defeats the purpose. It’s for me to know and you to never realize what happened. #Slytherin

Resourcefulness: This means utilizing everything around you. Befriend EVERYONE and use their connections. This doesn’t mean you’re not a good friend, or that you’re using everyone you know, or that you’re taking advantage or whatever… it just means that if you’re going to be friends with someone, you’re going to utilize all the perks that come with that- they have connections that could get you a job? Great! Sign me up! Your friend’s dad can score you guys awesome concert tickets? Perfect! Your neighbor is elderly and widowed and loves visiting with you and giving you free food? Let’s hang out! It’s about taking in your surroundings and figuring out the best way to use them in your quest for power and a better life. Which brings me to the next point!

Ambition (and Power. Let’s just throw them in there together): This one is self-explanatory. I want to be the best at everything. If I find something that I’m good at, and then someone else steps up and does it too and/or gets more attention at it than me, I go nuts. I am always trying to better myself and be the best possible version of myself that I can be. I do this by utilizing all of the other traits listed above and below. It’s above using your skills, recognizing your talents, and applying them all in order to be the best. I’m not a perfectionist. I just want to be great! No one is ever as disappointed in me as I am in myself when I fail at something.

Self-Preservation: So many people perceive this one as a weakness. They all look to Draco Malfoy when he was lying to both sides at the end of the books in order to live. He did whatever his parents told him to in order to stay alive. He didn’t really think for himself until it was too late and he was in too deep, and then he just had to play along in order to stay safe. But here’s the thing- maybe he wasn’t a hero who set out to save everyone around him, but he lived to the Epilogue, didn’t he? So, apply that to yourself: do you want to die, or do you want to live to the epilogue? Because I prefer the latter. And that’s all there is to it.

Cleverness: Loads of people think I’m a Ravenclaw because of this one (and just, ew. No). I read everything I can get my hands on, and I love to learn. Learning, for me, is all about helping along my ambition, though. It’s not about school (I don’t really care much for school, to be honest) or wanting to know more than other people (although that is part of it, because it definitely helps with being cunning). It is about what learning can do for me and help me along in my life. It helps me relate to a large variety of people around me (resourcefulness) and it gets me better jobs (ambition, again) and it means I can outwit others. Intelligence is one of the best weapons in the world. Listen to everyone, but learn to sort out fact from fiction. So many people have different ways of seeing the world, and the more people you listen to and learn from, the more broad your views will be.

Determination: The biggest motivation in the world for me is someone telling me I can’t do something. It gets my blood boiling, and I decide to set out to prove them wrong. I get so determined to succeed, especially when people think I can’t. I stick with something until it’s done, until I’ve succeeded, until I’ve mastered it. I don’t give up.

Fraternity: Gryffindors aren’t the only ones that are loyal! I find people who I like and I am super loyal to them- I stick by their side through good times and bad. BUT- if someone doesn’t make time for me in their life, then I won’t be bothered to make time for them in mine. If someone mistreats me or doesn’t act like I friend, I can drop them like that. No problem. So- it’s a two-way street for Slytherins. I will be your most loyal friend, as long as your are mine. Again, just look at Draco. He wanted to befriend Harry, but Harry had no time for that- so Draco was like, “Ohhhhh hell no! You don’t want to make time for me? Then guess what… I don’t like you.” That’s me, right there. I don’t waste my time on losers. I don’t waste my time on people who don’t want to spend time on me. I don’t waste time on people who don’t treat me well. But I will be the best friend in the world if you are mine.

In summary, how do you think like a Slytherin? You find motivation in any way, shape, or form to help you stick to whatever goals you set for yourself. You work your butt off all day long so that you can be the best version of yourself (and sometimes others). You stick by your friends, but you also get payback on your enemies without getting your hands dirty. You use everything and everyone around you for your benefit, and expect them to do the same. You further your intellect and career and personal goals and go above and beyond people’s expectations for you, just so you can have the pleasure of proving them wrong and that you’re better than they thought. You hold yourself at a high level and put your own happiness first, but that doesn’t mean you don’t hold your friends in high regard, either.

Slytherins are probably at the top of their class, much the chagrin of Ravenclaws.

Slytherins are probably the most loyal friends you will ever have, much to the confusion of Gryffindors.

And… wait. What do Hufflepuffs do? Agh, I don’t know. I’m just going to assume that we do it better.

And that, my friends, is what it means to be a Slytherin.

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