Fake It Till You Make It

A lot of my friends and co-workers are under the impression that I have my shit together.

I’ll let you in on a little secret- I really don’t.

I’ll let you in on another secret- fake it till you make it.

Why do people think I have my shit together? Why do people think I know exactly what I want in my life? Why do people think I know exactly what to do in every situation?

Because I make them believe I do.

Life (for me, at least) is all about the illusion of control.

When I know what I want, I go for it. When I know what I don’t want, I don’t let it anywhere near me. When I feel like I’m falling apart, I pull it together and put on a smile. When I don’t know what to do, I think and try and guess until something works out, because (final secret) it always works out, one way or another. Or I just watch Newsroom and try to channel Maggie (like I did last night. And let me tell you, I’m KILLING IT at work today).

That’s how I keep my head up and keep a smile on- because no matter how shitty things get, it always works out in the end. Before you know it, you’re back on the right path, even if it was a path you had never considered before or didn’t even know was there, and you find that you’re happy and you’re doing ok and you’re still alive and breathing, so you must be doing something right, right?

So here’s a few pieces of advice to you from someone who is not qualified at all to be giving out advice.

1) Pay your bills on time! This seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how hard people find this. I hate money. I really do. I hate keeping track of it and worrying about it and living in a world that is so obsessed and dependent on it. But, unfortunately, it’s necessary to survive in this world. And it’s amazing how being on top of it will make your life that much easier. Set money aside from your paycheck every month, budget how much you spend on groceries and clothing and fun things (but be sure to spend money on those things- just not too much) and set the rest aside to pay for the essentials. If you set aside a certain amount with every paycheck and don’t touch it, then you should never have to worry about paying bills on time. It will be there, sitting in your account, ready for you to write a check. If you live paycheck to paycheck, what will you do when you get paid the day after rent is due? Because you can bet your ass your landlord won’t give a fuck that you didn’t get paid in time. Your landlord will just want to know where their money is. Once you have your money under control, that’s a huge weight off your shoulders and one less thing to worry about, because life’s too short to stress over the material things.

2) Don’t expect respect because of rank or title or position or for any reason at all. Earn your respect. Respect is not a privilege. I don’t care who you are- if you don’t earn my respect and show me respect or treat me as an equal, then you won’t get any respect from me. Don’t criticize others just because you can. And don’t ever try to disguise bullying as constructive criticism. Bullying is bullying. Helpful advice and positivity is constructive criticism.

3) Don’t be an asshole. Just… don’t.

4) Don’t be entitled. We’re all working hard. Don’t just expect things to fall in your lap. And don’t try to push your problems on other people. We’ve all got issues. Now, don’t get me wrong- you should DEFINITELY allow others to help you, but don’t expect other people to solve all your problems for you. They’ve got problems of their own that they’re trying to work out. Lend a helping hand and they may do the same in return (but don’t just lend a helping hand because you expect help in return… that goes full circle back to entitlement).

5) Do what makes you happy. Fuck society and norms and what other people expect of you. You have one life. You have one chance at happiness. Why put yourself in a position that makes you unhappy? If you don’t want to go out, then stay in. If you don’t want to party, then read a book. If you don’t like your job, then do everything in your power to get another one. Don’t worry about other people. Don’t worry about disappointing people. Because for every person you disappoint, there’s another that loves you just the same. People will love you, people will hate you- none of it will have anything to do with you (I didn’t make that up. That’s a quote by Abraham Hicks)

I’ve had a rough start to my week and I’m having to fake it pretty hard. I’m smiling and I got to work early and I am double and triple checking my work. I woke up this morning and thought to myself, ‘Fuck everyone else. Fuck negativity. Fuck what everyone thinks of me. It’s going to be a great day!’ And it’s starting to feel that way.

Fake it till you make it, people. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” Oh yeah, I just went there. I hope you all have a beautiful day.

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